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Posts Tagged ‘Child sexual abuse’

“If your child tells you he or she has been abused, believe it.

If you suspect that your partner, that person who abused you, other family members,¬†or your child’s caretakers are being abusive, take action immediately.

Countless women have been sure they were the only ones to be abused, only to find out years later that their own children, grandchildren or even great grandchildren had become victims as well.”

From The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis.

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I’ve seen it today, I understand now. There’s a repetition in my life – there are many of them.

I spend endless hours chattering away to my dogs, like they can understand me. It fills the hole in my soul – temporarily.

Nobody heard me as a child. As a four year old I told my mum what dad was doing to me but dad exploded and that was the end of that. I was branded a liar, a trouble maker and my mum unconsciously punished me until I left home at 29 years of age. Yes, I understand that to be part of her process, her denial, but it hasn’t helped me one bit.

Now I spend many a wasted hour trying to get heard by people who don’t understand what it’s all about. A pointless, fruitless exercise.

My counsellor can hear me, she can validate me. She can give me a safe place to share, a place where I can begin to contemplate what happened to me and speak my truth.

Slowly slowly my inner child will get heard and my repetitive need for someone to hear my voice will dissipate.

Many people just don’t understand the full ramifications of child sexual abuse. There, I’ve said it – sexual abuse. That’s what it was and that’s what it will always be. Nothing anybody says will make it not so, for my inner child knows the truth. She carries the secret deep within and for now she gives me snippets of details. One day she will be fearless enough to tell me exactly what happened – but only when I’m ready to hear it.

Thanks for listening, I appreciate it like you’ll never know.

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