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Love to hear your experiece/s with mental illness. Please leave a comment on one of my posts and I’ll be sure to get back to you.

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14 Responses

on June 9, 2011 at 1:31 am | Reply Yvonne Schlosser

Bipolar bike ride.

I ride a bicycle, peddle peddle peddle.
Mountains, valleys, plains.
At the top of a mountain pass,
Sun on my face,
Close to the clouds,
Birds sweep tree tops,
Fresh Pine scent,
Wind on my face.
Peddle, peddle, peddle.

Here comes the valley.
Feet swung out,
Ready for the ride.
Sailing, air rushing.
Faster, faster, faster,
Adrenaline pumping.
Fun, fun, fun,
Wheeee! Reckless!
Peddle, peddle, peddle.

Brakes, brakes, brakes.
There are none.
Down, down, down.
Fear and trembling.
Still plunging down.
The bottom is here,
No crash this time.
Peddle, peddle, peddle.

The valley is dark,
No birds, who cares.
Miserable little squirrels,
Sunshine betrays me,
Its beginning to rain.
Cold, wet, alone.
Back up the hill,
Peddle, peddle, peddle.

No momentum, no energy,
The climb is so steep,
No one to push or pull,
Only my will power,
Fighting, struggling,
Turning each peddle,
One, two, three.
Chug Chug Chug
Peddle, peddle, peddle.

Its coming, I can see
Just a little bit more,
The plains and the green
The rollercoaster is over,
Peddle peddle peddle.
I have arrived home.
Safe and sound,
Until the next bicycle ride.
It is inevitable.
Peddle, peddle, peddle.
- on June 12, 2011 at 6:53 pm | Reply Rapid Cycling
  
  Good poetry
on April 22, 2011 at 11:30 am | Reply Mandie

Hi, I came across your site and wasn’t able to get an email address to contact you. Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back and we’ll talk about it.

Thanks!

Mandie Hayes
mandie.hayes10@gmail.com
on January 15, 2011 at 8:04 am | Reply Gemeniguy

I went cyclothymic around the age of 20. It started somewhere between my sophomore and junior year in college. I would cycle for around 3 weeks at a time, i.e., 3 weeks depression, 3 weeks euphoria, 3 weeks depression, 3 weeks euphoria, and so on and so on. I sensed that I was different from other people. I didn’t see them going through mood swings like this. But I didn’t even know I had a mood disorder, much less one with a name and that there were other people in the world like me. I thought I was just wired this way. When euphoric, I didn’t want or need a girl. It was all me. But when depressed, I was sad and lonely and wanted a girl for compansionship. I wanted a girl I could turn on and off like a switch, just like my moods turned on and off. When I needed her, she would be there. When I didn’t need her, she would go away. It doesn’t work that way. I couldn’t keep any relationship. I call my last two years of college my “lost years”. The worst two years of my life. I was the “Cyclothymic Cowboy” in the rhyme below:

Cyclothymic Cowboy

When I ride the range it’s either cold or hot.
And that’s the way that I wish it was not.
I’ve been this way for as long as I can tell.
At the top and bottom of this low level hell.

The one sure thing that I have found.
Is that there just ain’t no middle ground.
Today I’m tangled in a coil of barbed wire.
Tomorrow I’m as hot as a prairie grass fire.

I see that tomorrow is almost here.
Then time for me to break out the beer.
I’ll go into town and get me a poke.
But the day after it will all be a joke.

Because I know that the party won’t last.
I’ve always seen them end in the past.
I’ll again ride fences in my lonely state.
Because I can’t do anything more than wait.

I know that this loneliness also will end.
And after that I’ll go back on the mend.
Happiness or sadness are here to stay.
But I never wanted it to be this way.

I’m a crystal chandelier or a barroom floor.
I don’t want to ride this range anymore.
on January 4, 2011 at 12:36 am | Reply Aly

Hi,
My name is Aly, and I have suffered from depression, anxiety, eating issues, and ADHD for about 7 years now. I have tried many medications, but I am still unhappy with how I feel. I’m pretty lost. But I’m really glad to have found your blog, because it gives me hope. I would really like to talk through email if you have the time. It is so nice to know that someone else out there understands!
- on January 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm | Reply Rapid Cycling
  
  Hi Aly, thanks for dropping by
  I’ll shoot you an email.
- on January 10, 2011 at 6:11 pm | Reply Rapid Cycling
  
  Whoops Aly, your email address is bouncing back to me
  Next time.
on December 27, 2010 at 8:23 am | Reply E. Triche

hello folks, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder when I was 17 years old. I am 40 years old now. I have ,like most, been in and out of my state system only to be placed through the cracks for years. I have always been creative in art and writing. I have found comfort in my writing. A way of renewal and expression. Like most, my life has had its share of terrible mood swings that are very psychotic in nature. When my world was traveling ions speed. I decided to put my thoughts, no matter how strange to others they maybe, on paper. I write poetry, short stories and now I am working on a book. My bipolar does not consume me now and I no longer require severe amounts of meds. When I feel my moods, I just put it on paper. I LET IT GO! I am glad to have found this site because I want to let others know they are not alone. Try writing, drawing or meditation. We must find ways to quiet the mind so that we can identify mindfully our feelings, emotions, and our mind functioning. I recommend a journal for all mentally ill consumers. I hope this gives hope. It made a difference in my life. Writing is art as well.

Ernest T.
Bipolar 1 schizoaffective rapid cycler
- on December 27, 2010 at 8:53 am | Reply Rapid Cycling
  
  Thanks for stopping by. I agree, writing down thoughts and feelings is so beneficial. It helps develop self awareness too
on October 29, 2010 at 9:32 am | Reply Carri

Hi. I have a 15 year old that has a compulsion to steal. Over the years it’s been things such as money, here and there, no certain amount. This year, she stole two packs of gum at the grocery store. Over the past 2 years she’s stolen about 5 ipods/mp3 players. Each time getting caught. (who knows how many I don’t know about). Yes, she’s owned her own and has either lost them, had them stolen from her, or they just break.

I’ve taken her to counselor’s. She has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD – mostly due to impulse control issues.

I attempted to get her help this year, but now have found out the “counselor” I’m taking her to can’t prescribe medicine or chooses not to.

Can you tell me what kind of doctor I need to get her to or therapy I need to help her to?

Thanks.
- on November 8, 2010 at 6:45 pm | Reply Rapid Cycling
  
  I don’t know much about ADHD/ADD so I’m no expert in the field. My theft is/was relates to the need to acquire items (regardless of their value).
  My theft stems from issues from childhood therefore it was most helpful for me to see a psychologist who specialises in the dysfunctional childhood upbringing I had (ie: living with an alcoholic father).
  I do not know if your family has any kind of addiction or your family’s family (as dysfunction carries itself down the line unfortunately) so it is hard for me to comment on the reasons why your daughter feels she needs to steal things.
  A psychologist who specialises in her disorder may be of help.
  Good luck
on October 26, 2009 at 12:15 am | Reply jenn

Hi there!! My name is Jenn. I live in Calgary Alberta. My partner was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar 1 about 5 years ago. She has always been very creative and is an exceptionally gifted poet. She has always dreamed of having her work published (she has once in High school) but is unsure of how to go about doing it. As Christmas is just around the corner, I wanted to help her fullfill her dream of being published. Sooooo…….if anyone knows who to contact or how to begin please let me know. Thanks so much!!
on June 26, 2009 at 12:15 am | Reply jessica

Hi i dont kno if you might have read my comment but i sort of need help and dont know who to go to and realy HATE goin 2 my parrents 4 anything plz e-mail me i dont know if im bipolar or a witch. i do hateful things and later hate myself for doing it. e-mail me at “princess_jbc@yahoo.com” i just want some one to talk to about how i feel and just cuz my whole family is open doesnt mean that i am. hopefully i can find help from someone out side of the family.
have a good day,

Jessica Brooke chapman
on August 6, 2008 at 11:47 am | Reply Sue

Hi lisa
I found your blog because I was googlingZeldox. My son (20yrs old) has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and has just had a relapse after coming off olanzapine 2 months ago. He put on 30k in 6 months so they’re talking about trying out Zeldox.
I felt for you when you said how much you feel chemicals determine who you are – I see the same in him.
Great to find your blog and see all the great links.
Thanks