I know you are there;
I search deep within my soul;
To find another clue;
A smell, a piece of clothing, surroundings;
Anything to take me one step further to your face;
My eyes bore into nothingness;
Trying hard to draw a memory from my subconscious;
But I cannot;
Is it true that trauma has stopped me from remembering you, them or it?;
Or am I just clawing at something that is not there?;
It makes sense that you abused me as a child;
My behaviour today reflects the truth;
But my eyes and heart won’t let me see;
God, show me who you are and what you did;
So I can set myself free;
And heal my inner child.
Advertisement
Like this:
2 bloggers like this post.
I am experiencing similar frustration with connecting to my past at the moment. I think it’s useful to focus on the fact that it is all in there. I do absolutely believe that. There have been things that I have remembered from my past that have been so specific. Things that I had totally forgotten ever happened. When I remembered these things though, I knew them in a way like I had always known them. Like they were unconsciously familiar or something.
I would trust in your unconscious that it’s all there. Patience, gentleness, and curiosity will be your greatest tools, I believe.
Thank you for commenting here. I generally don’t worry too much about what I can’t remember but sometimes it can get a bit frustrating and I want to solve everything at once and be done with it. I try to abide by the rule that in good time I will be shown the answers. Checked out your blog, good one
I always enjoy reading your work. This one reminds me of someone I know. I do have one suggestion, if you don’t mind; I read in an unconscious stream of thought the first time and the last part might benefit with punctuation.
Thanks for your tip! Punctuation and grammar are not really for forte!! Glad you are enjoying the writings though and now I know at least someone is reading them!!